Tuesday, February 16, 2010

When Will It End

***Disclaimer... I am venting, if you don't like it, don't read it...***

We have had a lot of extra stress in our lives lately, which it sounds like many of us are all being tried in different ways.

We have had a beautiful little boy in our care for the past five months. We love him dearly, even when he thinks screaming tantrums are a good idea. He has two siblings who were placed in the care of a different foster family.

The very first time I met the other foster mom, she told me that the plan was to move lil man to her home, and from that day she has tried very hard to accomplish this.
This has added so much extra stress to our lives, which could have been avoided if the state should have stopped her from the very beginning and told her that this move would not happen, as the children are not up for adoption, but instead they have created this mess from letting her push.

We have had to attend two horrible meetings to determine living arraignments for these children, which I believe the state was never planning on moving the kids, it would have been nice for them to say that in the first meeting, and for this FM to realize that instead of continuing to push, oh yes she still is.

We have been counseled over and over to be the bigger person, as the other FM was not. That is dang hard when she tells a room full of people that our house is not safe for "her kids" to be in (sad thing, they are NOT her kids), she calls me "Miss Amy", and tells me I have no life because I don't work outside the home and I have a few minutes to talk with the parents after visitations.

This whole case is a mess. It seems that everyone has an issue with someone. Most of the people are complaining that we have a horrible Social worker, that she doesn't know how to do her job, and that she is not doing it properly.
The bio parents have issues with certain foster parents and don't want their kids in their home. Then in the next breath, they think this case has gone on too long and they want their kids back.

Me being the crazy, lets be nice person am stuck in the middle of them all. I hear info from the SW, I hear from the bio parents, I got a call from one of their lawyers, which I don't think he liked me since I told him that in my non professional opinion, they are not ready to have their kids back.

I am tired of it all. Scott had to remind me the other day that we need to put the focus back on our marriage and family and stop letting FC run our lives.
I have tried to step back, I didn't go to court today, which I am glad I didn't as they sat there for three hours and then rescheduled. In the end the SW called and encouraged that I attend next Tuesday.

I am not sure what I am suppose to learn from this, and may not ever know why we are going through this, but at least we have a beautiful little guy, who we love and know that he is safe and healthy.

The other stress in my life is my church calling. I have been teaching youth Sunday School for the past three years. In each of the classes I have had those certain people who choose to be disrespectful, and make it very difficult to get through a lesson, or to even have the spirit in the classroom.

Over the years I have tried many things: candy, non traditional lessons (scavenger hunts, Jeopardy, Readers Theater, etc), I have sent the kids to adult sunday school class if they are turds, I have had parents come in, I have had the Sunday School President in.
When I go to the parents, which tends to be close to the end of the year, the parents seem to be ticked off that I waited so long and put up with their kids crap for so long.

This year started out no different. I talked with one parent the first day, kind of joking with the dad, who went home, ripped into his kid, the kid came back with a hateful attitude and decided that for the next four weeks he and his little buddy would make life horrible.
They would tell me they were not going to participate, they would push and push until they could tell I was ready to beat them, and say "oh I'll stop now before she tells my parents.", they would talk through the prayers (keep in mind these are 14 year olds, not 4 year olds).

I finally got so ticked one day that I told one of them that he was teaching the next week. I didn't have my manual, I have had a hard time keeping track of it this year, so I told him which lesson, where to go to find it, and was not really concerned as his mother teaches adult sunday school class each week. I told his dad as well the lesson number and title.
The kid came the next week, didn't prepare a lesson, stood up for 30 seconds and sat down and told the class to play hang man. I offered him the lesson material, which he refused, so I handed it out to the class, asked each of them to read certain scriptures and questions and have them teach their class mates. Of course one of the kids told me he wasn't going to do it, which was fine, I pulled him out of the group and gave him his own section to do. They took about ten minutes, we went over it, and then I let play hang man for the rest of the time, which of course these two kids did not join in.
Close to the end of the class, I pulled them both out with the Sunday School President and we told them that if they can't respect me that they would have to attend a different class. One of the kids started to cry, saying he hadn't done anything wrong.( In just this class he had told me three times he would not participate or do things I asked him to do)
They both went and told their parents, which in turn their parents blew up because they both feel that their children are perfect, I am making it up and hate me for telling their kids to basically grow up.

I am so frustrated, from talking with the SSP and Scott talking with the Bishop, they both know how these kids can be, heck the kids in my class have told me that this is normal behavior for these kids.
I was told these two kids were suppose to be pulled out and have special lessons on respect, which has not happened. I have been on "teaching break" for the past three, which has been really nice. I had one of my kids come up to me last week, commenting that I wasn't teaching his class. I feel bad for the rest of the kids, they are all great kids, and don't deserve to have to deal with two punks who are disrespectful and make it hard for everyone else to learn.
Scott talked with the SSP the other day, and supposedly I am being switched to a different class, which I think is lame, as I feel that the two kids have learned nothing other then how to get rid of a teacher.

I have prayed about it and thought and know that I am in the right. We go to church to learn and to feel of the spirit. I was not able to make it through 1 lesson without having to stop and deal with the behavior of these two kids. I know they are teenagers, I know they are boys, but I do expect that if I am going to put the time into a lesson that I would expect the kids to show some respect and listen or pretend to listen.

Oh the stress, the life lessons, I am sure this will all make me stronger.