Oh To Feel Normal Again....
I thought I would blog about this now, because I don't know how I will feel after Thursday and if I will want to.
In early February, Scott and I found out we were expecting. I know some of you knew this, some expect, and some are just learning about this.
It was a total shock and a great surprise as we have wanted to have another child for SO long. With our past history with pregnancy loss (Ectopic and a miscarriage), my Dr is great at being on top of everything and getting me in right away to check things out.
We had to wait a week for my HCG levels to be high enough for anything to show up on an ultrasound.
We went in for the first ultrasound on the 12th of February, they said the pregnancy looked good, was probably around 5 weeks as their was no heartbeat yet, but normal for that time, everyone was positive that it was a good pregnancy, but were scheduled to come back in next week to check again.
The next time we went it, there were two yolk sacs (identical twins) but no heart beat. We were told that it was a weird ultra sound. My Dr. wanted us to give the pregnancy time, as twin pregnancies can be different, we could still be really early (I have to say, every time I heard that I wanted to scream, no I am not really early, I was keeping track), anything could happen.
Deep down my heart was breaking, from our past experience, to me this was not looking good.
We have had five ultrasounds since finding out we were expecting. After this last ultrasound my Dr. finally agreed with the ultra sound techs and my gut feeling that it was not going to be a viable pregnancy.
We had hoped and prayed for a miracle but for what ever reason, it was not to be at this time. The good out of this, is we know we can get pregnant, now to try and find out why we can't stay pregnant. Best explanation without it being tested yet was from my friend who did one of the ultrasounds said to her it looked like twins that did not separate properly.
We have decided to have my Dr. remove the pregnancy on Thursday morning, as it is not coming naturally, like my last miscarriage did.
Though it hurts so much to loose another pregnancy, I am eternally grateful to our Heavenly Father for our beautiful daughter Peyton. She is truly our miracle child, and I am so grateful to have her in my life.
I am grateful for family and friends who have prayed and fasted for us and this pregnancy. I am grateful for each of them, for their faith,love and willingness to help in any way possible, even just a note letting us know they are thinking of us.
I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, for the atonement of our Savior, I am grateful for prayer and for priesthood blessings, for the peace and comfort that we have been blessed with at this time.
I know Thursday will be hard, I do look forward to feeling normal again, this is really taking a toll on my body this time, to be able to move on and to be able to try again.
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When An American Fell In Love With A Canadian....
About Me
- Schmitt Family
- We decided to create a blog, so all of our family and friends can keep in touch and read what is going on in our lives. So stop by often and find out what is new with us. Love you all!
The really hot American gave the beautiful Canadian a ring, asked her, "well, will ya?". The Canadian decided to be his best friend for eternity after he asked thrice and they have never looked back. Three amazing years later their lives were blessed with a miracle; their very active little CanAm.
And so the tale is not yet done, here we see the adventures have just begun.......
And so the tale is not yet done, here we see the adventures have just begun.......
Favorite Quotes
In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things.
Families are together Now and Forever.
Kindness Makes For Happiness.
Families are together Now and Forever.
Kindness Makes For Happiness.
2 comments:
Hey Ames,
Are you ok?? I was just thinking about you the other day...remember those amazing double dates? or food fights at the edgemont? It seems like a life time ago. Miss you! Let me know if I can do anything for you!
Oh Amy. I am sorry. Just know that you aren't alone, too many people keep these experiences private that it can seem like you are alone when it is happening and we live in a society where it is almost second nature to pass blame, but there was nothing you could have done differently that would have made a difference, although I am not sure that it makes it any easier. I am so sorry that you are going through this. You have a great love and understanding of our eternal plan and of the comforts this world has to offer as a member of the church and I hope that it really does make it easier for you.
My experience has been 2 miscarriages, Olivia, 2 miscarriages and then Sophia, so I was honestly scared to even try to have another one too. I was so thankful that Tyler just came on his own, not in our plan, but in our Heavenly Fathers. We just have to remember that sometimes our plans may match up with Heavenly Fathers and sometimes not, but it is ultimately His plan, not ours.
My sister-in-law has miscarried three of her last four pregnancies, the last one at 26 weeks, but she shares your same great attitude and understanding, she is now 22 weeks pregnant with what appears to be a healthy baby boy. She already has four but has always felt like they would have six so she has continued to have the faith of an eternal plan, when others would have given up (myself included).
My neighbor is so similar to you (in so many ways....she has reminded me of you since the minute I met her), they too are doing foster care, or were doing it, she has had one successful pregnancy, her first and for no rhyme or reason has not had a viable pregnancy since but has two beautiful boys that came to her from the foster care program, that they were able to adopt. She had 5 or 6 placements and then got a little boy, fresh from the hospital, Kenny, she had Kenny for approximately 9 months when she got a call saying that the mom (who was in jail) was pregnant again and would she be willing to take the baby when it was born, the baby came three weeks early and then she had Ethan too. At home she had a 4 year old and then two babies, just 10 months apart, babies she was so scared to get vested in, a system they were frustrated with but the light at the end of the tunnel, after an additional 9 months in they system, was that they were able to adopt these boys and make them their own.
I share with you each of those experiences because none of those women ever would have chosen that plan, but our Heavenly Father knows our desires and will bless us in His own way. So just have comfort that if you feel like more is in your eternal plan, they will come, but not always how you expect. .Just remain comforted by the fact that Heavenly Father loves each one of us and wants what is best for our family. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
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